Artemis Fowl and the Teenager Issue
by keyson
Summary: Artemis Fowl II has proved to be the most outstanding boy of the world his age. However, everything's not easy for the highest IQ in Europe. Due to his age, he has to deal with a problem every adolescent has to suffer, and the fact the two girls he'd ever felt attraction to desire him too is not helping at all. It's a funny story of humor, romance and adventure. LEMON? Find it out!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. I do not own any of the other characters. They belong to the respective author/s and/or companies.**

****Artemis ran as fast as his legs let him. The tunnel was really dark and he couldn't see a thing. His breath was hard and he was panting, something that rarely happened, though quite a lot lately. He felt really tired and his legs really hurt but he just went on.

Finally, he saw a light in the end of the tunnel. He smiled at the possibility of freedom. He found new strength and rushed to reach liberty.

As he ran towards the light, he thought. He was escaping. Yeah, Artemis Fowl. The one who saved everyone in the upper and lower world a couple of times. He couldn't help imagining how embarrassed he would be if Butler saw him. He may even hear that grave laugh he almost never hear. What made him run like that? What was so terribly and utterly evil that obliged Artemis Fowl II not to confront him and fight –or at least call his bodyguard Butler? Well, the reason was maybe it was not a "him".

"Arty…"-said a seducing voice at the end of the tunnel. "You know you want this…"

Artemis looked terrified at the green figure and started to run to the other side.

"I cannot believe I fought against the most brutal evil and I get frightened by a pair of cute eyes."-he thought. But looking at the reason why he was escaping, maybe it was that much frightening.

The other ending of the tunnel was close and Artemis prayed to reach it faster than Holly. He saw backwards and found no crazy female back there. He smiled while looking back, but as soon as he turned his head to the front he saw another reason to be scared.

Right there was another pair of cute eyes, but this time they were carried by a human female of curly blonde hair.

"Artemis!"-said Minerva. "I finally found you! I was looking for you all this time. I love you! And I want to marry you, and have tons of sons and daughters with you!"

"Can this day possibly be worse?"-said Artemis as he ran again to the other side of the tunnel, hoping Holly rounded the mountain.

"Where are you going?"-said Minerva, who was wearing a suit with a kind of jetpack that could have been done by herself. "Oh, no. I've waited too long for this. I won't let you go! Never again!"

Artemis knew he had no escape. He saw Holly's hazelnut eyes approaching fast and Minerva's backwards as he stopped his run and started to pray. Nothing was at the sight except for four shiny eyes coming towards him.

Suddenly, he saw a gate and he entered it as a castaway takes a life guard. He closed his eyes waiting for the imminent clash but no boom was heard. Instead, some kind of peculiar sounds were heard, that seemed like… kisses?

Artemis opened his eyes and saw nothing but heard the sound lots of times, once and once again. He imagined what happened. Both girls thought he was the other one, and could not see the truth because they had their eyes closed.

"Are they making out?"-he thought. Realizing just then the word he used to think of the act they were doing. "That is quite unexpected… But at least it will give me time to escape."

He ran towards the end were Butler was had left the Bentley and hoped they stood that way for long, as he laughed at the funny episode that had just saved his life.

**This will be a humor-adventure-romance story that is already written, so you can expect me to update really quick! The story is set between the Atlantix Complex and The Last Guardian, with no necessary relationship between them. If you review, please don't bring me up anything given on the books. In order to make it a little funnier I may not have been that strict with the character personification, so the story may be a little OOC. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!**


End file.
